How can preschoolers learn to share, take turns, and make friends? - post

Introduction

Child care providers help children learn life skills like sharing, taking turns, and making friends. These skills make the classroom safer and happier. When we teach them, children feel more confident and ready to learn. This short guide gives simple steps you can use today.

Why it matters: Strong social skills help children build friendships, solve problems, and calm down when they are upset. When children feel included, they behave better and learn more. For more on why kindness and inclusion matter, see Social skills in action.

Remember: state requirements vary - check your state licensing agency.

We will use these five words a lot: #sharing #turns #friends #empathy #play.

How do I teach sharing and taking turns in easy steps?

Start small and be consistent. Try this 5-step plan you can use every day.

1. Model the language. Say simple phrases: "Can I have a turn?" or "Your turn next." Use these often so children hear them.
2. Teach short scripts. Practice lines kids can copy: "Can I play?" or "You go first, then me." Practice during play and circle time. For guided play ideas, see How to Foster Friendship Skills Through Guided Play.
3. Use timers and visuals. A sand timer or picture card shows who is next. Visuals help children who are still learning language.
4. Reinforce and notice. When a child shares, say exactly what you saw: "You handed Sam the car—thank you for sharing." Praise makes the behavior repeat. Research-backed ideas on prompting and praise are in the CSEFEL brief.
5. Teach alternatives to forcing. Instead of making a child give a toy away, teach: "I will play with this part while you play with that part," or "You can have it when I finish." For social stories about sharing and turn-taking, see Free Social Stories About Sharing & Taking Turns.

Tip: role-play these scripts with puppets or peers during a circle. Small, frequent practice works best rather than one long lesson.

What classroom routines build friendship and empathy?

Routines are powerfully simple. Use everyday moments to teach being kind and including others.

1. 😊 Morning greetings: let children choose how to greet each other (wave, hello, high five). This builds a connection.
2. 🧩 Buddy jobs: pair children to pass out snack, water plants, or tidy a center. Pair jobs teach cooperation and shared responsibility.
3. 📚 Read-and-reflect: pause during stories and ask, "How does the character feel? What could a friend do?" This builds #empathy and language; ChildCareEd explains simple empathy routines in Teaching empathy to young children.
4. 🎲 Guided small groups: plan activities that need teamwork—building a track or making a group collage. Guided play helps children try scripts while you coach; see guided play tips.
5. 🏷️ Kindness spotting: notice and post kind acts on a classroom board. Celebrate simple things like helping or inviting someone new to play.

Why routines work: routines repeat teaching moments so children learn by doing, not only by listening. For more daily ideas, look at the sample lesson plan in Social Skills Lesson Plan.

How do I handle conflicts so children learn to repair and stay friends?

Conflict is a chance to teach problem-solving. Use short steps and keep your voice calm. Try this 4-step script.

1. 🛑 Stop and get safe: "Hands down, safe bodies." This prevents harm and lets thinking start.
2. 🔍 Name the feeling or problem: "You look upset because you both want the red truck." Naming helps children see the situation clearly.
3. 💬 Offer choices and a script: teach phrases like "Can I have a turn after you?" or "Let's use a timer." Offer clear options instead of long lectures.
4. 🔧 Repair: ask for a small fix—"Can you help put the blocks back?" or say, "Can you tell your friend you are sorry?" Repair helps the child feel seen and heals the relationship.

Use prompting and immediate praise after the child uses a solution. The CSEFEL briefs describe how prompting then acknowledging works to build social skills over time: Promoting Positive Peer Social Interactions.

Keep coaching brief and consistent. If a child repeats the same conflict, collect data and add targeted practice. Family notes like brief "empathy moments" can help home and school stay in sync. For family partnership ideas, see Family Engagement.

What activities and supports help children who struggle to make friends?

Some children need extra help. Use these practical supports that research and experienced teachers recommend.

1. Priming and scripts: before free play, tell a child who struggles who they could ask to play and what to say. This simple step increases success. See priming strategies in the CSEFEL brief.
2. Role-play and rehearsal: practice joining games and turn language with you or peers. Use real toys and short scenes.
3. Peer buddies: set up a Friendship Foreman or buddy system so a peer helps the child join centers. Ideas appear in Ideas for Teaching Children about Friendship.
4. Adapt the environment: make play accessible with larger pieces, quieter spaces, or visual directions. Small changes help many children join in.
5. Use social stories and visual supports: social stories about sharing and turn-taking give children clear expectations. Find free options at Free Social Stories.

Work with families. Share quick home scripts and short observations. Family engagement improves outcomes for children who need more practice; read more at Family Engagement.

Related ChildCareEd courses: Brighter Futures: Social Emotional Development, Staying Positive: Guidance for Preschoolers, Supporting Social Learning: Creating Classrooms that Care

Conclusion: Quick checklist, common mistakes, and FAQ

Use this short checklist each day to grow social skills:

1. Model short phrases and scripts.
2. Use visuals (timers, cards) for turns.
3. Plan 5–10 minute guided play sessions for practice.
4. Praise specific helpful actions right away.
5. Partner with families and note progress.

Common mistakes and how to avoid them:

1. Forcing sharing: teach language and offers instead of taking toys away.
2. Giving long lectures: use short, concrete steps children can remember.
3. Ignoring small wins: acknowledge tiny helps so they grow.

FAQ (short):

1. Q: How long before I see change? A: Small gains in weeks with daily practice; bigger change in months.
2. Q: What if one child is excluded often? A: Teach inclusion scripts, prime peers, and use buddy roles.
3. Q: Can special needs children learn these skills? A: Yes. Use adaptations, repetition, and visual cues. CSEFEL resources are helpful (CSEFEL).
4. Q: How do I involve families? A: Send brief "empathy moments" notes and simple home scripts to practice.

For more classroom-ready ideas and lesson plans, explore ChildCareEd resources like Social skills in action and the Social Skills Lesson Plan. You are building skills that matter for a lifetime. Thank you for the work you do every day.