When a shared project turns into competing ideas, grabbing materials, or one child doing all the work, educators can turn the moment into a meaningful lesson in cooperation. The course Supporting Social Learning: Creating Classrooms that Care Buy Now $24.00 offers practical ways to strengthen peer problem-solving and classroom relationships, helping you build on the strategies below.
Working together asks young children to coordinate several developing skills at once: communicating an idea, listening to another person, waiting, regulating frustration, and adapting a plan. A child who resists a peer’s suggestion or holds tightly to a material is not necessarily being uncooperative by nature. The child may need more practice, clearer language, a predictable role, or a task suited to their current developmental abilities.
Peer interactions provide authentic opportunities to learn these skills. CSEFEL’s guidance on promoting positive peer social interactions describes how educators can teach and rehearse social skills, then support children as they use them during play. Likewise, the ECE Resource Hub explains that problem-solving with others is learned over time and benefits from adult support to identify a problem, consider another perspective, and try a solution.
It helps to focus on the process rather than whether children finish a project or agree immediately. A group mural with different ideas, for instance, can offer more learning than a polished product created by one child. When adults notice each child’s contribution and make participation accessible, children can build #cooperation, communication, and a sense of belonging.
Good collaboration starts with thoughtful planning. Choose a task with a shared purpose that genuinely benefits from multiple contributions, but leave room for children’s ideas. “Let’s make one road that connects both buildings” gives children a common goal without dictating what the road must look like. Keep directions brief and materials accessible.
Plan for different ways to participate. A child may speak, point, demonstrate, observe before joining, or take a brief helper role. These are meaningful entry points, not lesser forms of involvement. Consider children’s languages, interests, sensory needs, and abilities when selecting materials and groupings. An accessible task gives children a stronger chance to collaborate without requiring everyone to participate in exactly the same way.

First, pause and observe. If children are safe and still engaged, allow time for them to work through a minor disagreement. Hovering too closely or deciding every detail for them can interrupt problem-solving before it begins. If frustration rises or a child is excluded, move close, keep your voice calm, and offer just enough support to get the interaction moving again.
Use neutral descriptions instead of blame: “You both want to put the blue block on top.” Acknowledge feelings and state a clear safety limit when needed. NAEYC’s three-step approach to helping children navigate conflict suggests naming the behavior and feelings, explaining the impact, then guiding children toward an appropriate next action.
Give children time to think before adding another prompt. If they cannot yet agree, make a temporary plan or help them choose between safe options. The aim is not to make conflict disappear, but to help children practice a next step. A calm adult presence communicates that disagreement can be handled safely and respectfully.
Some children need extra help entering play, understanding a group plan, or communicating an idea. Language differences, disability, sensory sensitivities, temperament, and prior experiences can all affect participation. Avoid assuming that watching quietly means a child is uninterested. Observe what the child attends to and offer a low-pressure invitation that builds on that interest: “Would you like to choose the next block, or watch until you’re ready?”
Make participation clearer with picture choices, gestures, visual steps, adapted tools, or a smaller group. Model useful phrases during calm moments, then prompt them briefly during the activity. For example, a teacher might say, “You can point to the role you want,” or “Show Leo where you want the bridge to go.” The study Nurturing Social Experience in Three Early Childhood Special Education Classrooms highlights how teacher adaptations and responsive support can help promote positive peer engagement.
Be thoughtful about peer-buddy arrangements. Children can learn from one another, but no child should be assigned ongoing responsibility for managing a peer. Rotate partners and roles, and make sure every child has opportunities both to contribute and to receive support. Share objective observations with colleagues and families, focusing on what helped the child participate. State requirements vary - check your state licensing agency.
Children benefit from short, repeated opportunities to work toward a shared goal. Collaboration does not need to be a special event: it can happen during cleanup, snack preparation, outdoor play, or a familiar classroom routine. Predictable practice gives children a chance to use social language and problem-solving skills without having to learn a new activity each time.
During and after activities, name specific cooperative actions: inviting a peer, passing a material, asking for an idea, waiting, or trying a different plan. Brief observations can help staff see progress and identify barriers. If the same task repeatedly leads to difficulty, consider whether the group is too large, the directions are unclear, materials are limited, or the project does not allow meaningful roles. Repeating a familiar activity with one thoughtful adjustment can be more effective than introducing a new lesson every day.
When children have difficulty working together, educators can prepare an inviting task, provide clear but flexible roles, observe before intervening, and coach children through disagreement with calm language and practical choices. Adapt materials and communication supports so every child has a meaningful way to participate. Focus on the small steps—listening, offering an idea, waiting, or trying again—rather than expecting immediate agreement or a perfect finished product.
These skills grow through repeated experiences, responsive adult support, and a classroom culture where each child’s contribution matters. Start with one short shared task, notice what helps the group cooperate, and use that information to plan the next opportunity. For a deeper professional learning experience, explore Supporting Social Learning: Creating Classrooms that Care Buy Now $24.00, You’re Not My Friend Anymore: Learning Conflict Resolution
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