Biting is one of the most challenging behaviors #educators face in #early-childhood #classrooms. It’s sudden, emotional, and often upsetting for everyone involved—the child who was bitten, the child who bit, and the adults who must balance #safety, #empathy, and communication.

Many educators #freeze in the moment, thinking:
“What do I say?”
“How do I teach without shaming?”
“How do I stop this from happening again?”

The way you respond—especially in the first few seconds— #plays a powerful role in shaping a child’s social-emotional #growth. Toddlers bite for many reasons, and your words can either help build regulation and empathy… or accidentally make things worse.

This article explains what to say, what not to say, why #biting happens, and how educators can turn this challenging moment into a meaningful learning opportunity.

---

🦷Why Toddlers Bite

Before responding, it’s important to understand the “why.”

Toddlers bite because they are still learning:

• Emotional regulation

• Language and communication

• Impulse control

• How to manage frustration

• How to interact with peers

Common reasons #toddlers bite include:

⭐ 1. Big Emotions

They may feel overwhelmed, angry, or frustrated.

⭐ 2. Limited Words

When they can’t #express a need, they use behaviors instead.

⭐ 3. Sensory Input

Some children bite to get oral stimulation or release tension.

⭐ 4. Teething Pain

Chewing feels relieving.

⭐ 5. Crowding or overstimulation

Loud or busy #classroom-environments can trigger biting.

⭐ 6. Attention-seeking or cause-and-effect learning

They are learning how their actions impact others.

Understanding the cause helps educators respond with empathy instead of anger.

---

🗣️💬 What Should I Say to a Child Who Just Bit Someone?

What you say matters—but how you say it matters even more.
Your tone should be:

• Calm

• Firm

• Clear

• Supportive

Here’s a simple, effective script:

---

🫢1. Name the Behavior Without Shame

Say:
“You bit. Biting hurts.”

Do not say:
❌ “You are bad.”
❌ “Why would you do that?”
❌ “That’s mean.”

Label the behavior, not the child.

---

🥺2. Acknowledge Their Feelings

Say:
“You were mad. You wanted the toy.”
or
“You felt frustrated.”

This helps toddlers understand why they acted.

---

😐3. State the Boundary Clearly

Say:
“I won’t let you bite.”

This tells the child the rule in a firm but safe way.

---

😊4. Offer the Correct Behavior

Say:
“Use gentle hands.”
“Say, ‘Stop!’”
“Give the toy to the #teacher.”

You’re teaching—not punishing.

---

🤓5. Comfort the Child Who Was Hurt First

Always attend to the injured child first.
This teaches empathy and safety.

Say to the child who bit (while comforting the other child):
“Look, they are hurt. Biting hurts.”

This is not shaming—it's #awareness building.

---

❌ What NOT to Say to a Toddler Who Bit Someone

Avoid:

• “Why did you do that?” — Toddlers can’t answer.

• “Stop crying!” — Invalidates emotions.

• “You’re bad.” — Damages self-esteem.

• “If you bite again, you’re in trouble.” — Toddlers can’t process future threats.

• “Say sorry!” — Forced apologies have no learning value.

The goal is to teach, not scare.

---

😬How to Teach Alternatives to Biting

Toddlers bite because they lack skills.
Our job is to teach those skills.

Here are alternatives educators can practice daily:

---

🌱 Teach Feeling Words

Toddlers need help naming emotions:

• Mad

• Sad

• Frustrated

• Overwhelmed

• Excited

Use pictures, #books, and visuals daily.

---

🤲 Teach “Gentle Touch”

Model:

• Soft hands

• Handing over toys gently

• Walking away

• Asking for help

Practice during calm moments—not just after biting occurs.

---

💬 Teach Simple Phrases

Toddlers can learn to say:

• “Mine.”

• “Stop.”

• “Help.”

• “My turn.”

• “All done.”

When they have words, they use their mouths less for biting.

---

🧸 Provide Safe Bite Alternatives

Offer:

• Teething toys

• Chewy tubes

• Crunchy snacks

• Cold teething rings

These help children who bite for #sensory or oral reasons.

---

🧑‍🏫 How Educators Can Prevent Biting Before It Happens

While you can’t prevent every bite, you can reduce the likelihood.

✔️ Keep routines predictable

✔️ Reduce crowding

✔️ Stay close during conflict-prone times

✔️ Watch for early signs of frustration

✔️ Use small-group activities

✔️ Offer emotional coaching regularly

✔️ Provide plenty of #sensory-play

Prevention is one of the most powerful tools you have.

---

🤝 How to Talk to Parents After a Biting Incident

Biting is emotional for families too. Some feel embarrassed, ashamed, or worried their child will be labeled.

Your goal is to communicate with:

• Professionalism

• Empathy

• Facts only

• No blame

What to say to #parents of the child who bit:

• “Here’s what happened.”

• “This is #developmentally normal.”

• “Here’s how we responded.”

• “Here are the strategies we’ll use moving forward.”

What to say to parents of the child who was bitten:

• “We comforted your child right away.”

• “We follow strict safety protocols.”

• “Here’s how we’re supporting all children involved.”

• “We will continue monitoring closely.”

Never reveal the name of the child who bit.

---

📘 Helpful Resources for Educators and Families

👉 Training: Ouch! Biting & Hitting Hurts

Learn practical strategies to understand, prevent, and respond to biting, hitting, and other impulsive behaviors in early childhood.
Link: https://www.childcareed.com/courses-ouch-biting-hitting-hurts.html

---

👉 Resource: Peace Corner

A calming, child-friendly space designed to help young children self-regulate, practice emotional control, and find peaceful alternatives to aggressive behaviors.
Link: https://www.childcareed.com/r-00700-peace-corner.html

---

👉 Related Article: Understanding Biting and Hitting in Early Childhood — A Free Resource From ChildCareEd

Learn the root causes of biting and hitting and discover developmentally appropriate strategies to respond with empathy and guidance.
Link: https://www.childcareed.com/a/understanding-biting-and-hitting-in-early-childhood-a-free-resource-from-childcareed.html

---

💬 Stay Connected With ChildCareEd

For more tips, strategies, and early childhood insights, follow ChildCareEd:
Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/childcareed/