Building secure attachments in group care: practical routines that work - post

What does “secure attachment” look like in group child care?

Secure attachment means a child feels #safe with a caregiver. The child trusts that an adult will notice their needs and help them. In a child care setting, children can build secure attachments with #teachers, even in a group. They can have more than one strong, caring bond. 

In real life, secure attachment often looks like this:

• The child checks in with you (with eyes, words, or a quick touch), then goes back to #play.

• The child comes to you when hurt, scared, or tired.

• The child calms faster when you respond in a steady, kind way. 

The best part: you don’t have to be perfect. You just need to be warm, consistent, and responsive most of the time. #SecureAttachment

How can teachers build secure attachment when there are many children?

Group care is busy. That’s why routines #matter so much. Routines are not just schedules—they are comfort. When children know what will happen and who will help them, their bodies relax. 

Think of routines as “relationship repeats.” Every repeat says: “I’m here. I know you. You can trust me.”

What arrival routine helps children feel safe at drop-off?

Drop-off can be the hardest part of the day, especially for infants and #toddlers. A clear, friendly routine helps.

Try a simple “3-step hello”:

• Warm greeting (use the child’s name)

• Quick connection (eye contact, smile, gentle touch if welcomed)

• Clear next step (“Let’s put your bag away, then we’ll read a book.”)

Helpful phrases:

• “Good morning, Maya. I’m #happy you’re here.” 

• “Dad is leaving now. I will keep you safe.”

• “First hugs, then blocks.”

If a child cries, stay calm and close. You are teaching, “Feelings are okay, and help is here.” #InfantToddler

What daily routines build trust all day long?

Secure attachment grows during everyday care moments—especially for infants and toddlers.

Use “predictable care” on purpose:

• Same steps during diapering/toileting

• Same song before nap

• Same hand-wash routine before meals

• Same goodbye routine at pick-up

Add small connection moments (they take 10 seconds):

• “I see you working hard.”

• “You did it!”

• “I’m right here.”

ChildCareEd’s course Positive Attention: Infants and Toddlers focuses on building strong relationships through consistent care and responsive interactions. 

How do “primary caregiving” and key teachers support attachment?

In group care, children do best when they know who their main safe adult is. Some programs call this primary caregiving or a “key person.”

You can do this even without changing #staffing: 

• Assign each child a “go-to” teacher when possible

• Have that teacher do most greetings, check-ins, and comfort (when available)

• Make sure all staff use the same calming steps and rules

This doesn’t mean other teachers don’t help. It means the child has a clear “ #home base” at school.

What can you do during feeding, diapering, and other care tasks?

Care tasks are not “interruptions.” They are relationship builders.

During care moments, try:

• Narrate gently: “I’m wiping your hands. All clean.”

• Offer choices: “Do you want apples or crackers?”

• Wait and watch: give time for the child to respond

• Be fully present: even for 30 seconds

If you’re caring for infants and toddlers, the ChildCareEd course CDA Infant/Toddler: Parent Relationships includes strategies that support separation, comfort, and attachment needs.

How do you handle big feelings without breaking the connection?

Children will melt down sometimes. Attachment grows when the child #learns: “Even when I’m upset, my #teacher-stays with me.”

Use this calm #plan:

• Set a #safety limit: “I won’t let you hit.”

• Name the feeling: “You’re mad.”

• Show the next step: “Let’s breathe. Then we can try again.”

After the child calms, do a quick “repair”:

• “That was hard. I’m still here.”

• “Let’s fix it together.”

These repairs matter. They teach trust.

What routines prevent power struggles and help children cooperate?

Many behavior problems in group care come from #stress: too much waiting, too many transitions, or unclear expectations. Predictable #classroom-systems help children feel secure and stay engaged. 

A helpful #free ChildCareEd resource is Preschool Classroom Management (Free Resource), which highlights the value of consistent routines, clear expectations, and predictable transitions. 

Try these routine “helpers”:

• Visual schedule with pictures

• 5-minute warning before cleanup

• Transition songs (“Clean up, clean up…”)

• A “job” for waiting children (line #leader, door holder)

How do you partner with families to strengthen attachment?

Children feel safest when home and school are a team. Families also know their child best.

Simple ways to partner:

• Ask, “What helps your child calm down at home?”

• Learn key words in the child’s home #language (hello, comfort, bathroom)

• Share one positive note each day (even small!)

• Keep goodbye routines short and consistent

ChildCareEd’s course Connections That Count: Building Relationships in Child Care is a strong option for strengthening relationships that support children and families. 

What are “easy win” routines you can start this week? 

Pick just 2–3 to start. Small changes add up.

• Name + smile for every child upon arrival

• One special job for each child (helps them feel seen)

• Comfort plan for children who struggle (favorite book, calm corner, helper teacher)

• Same words for limits (“Hands are for helping”)

• Daily connection: 1 minute of child-led play with each child (when possible)

These routines say, “You belong here.” 

Where can you learn more about attachment and relationships?

For a deeper look at why attachment #matters and how to support it, read this ChildCareEd article: The Role of Attachment in Early Childhood Development. 

And for quick training tips and ideas, subscribe to ChildCareEd on YouTube: Child Care Ed on YouTube.